The Adventures of Tophat and Monocle feat. Deekah Wyatt

from by VOLUME prod. by Dr B

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lyrics

"Heyy uhh, Hey Tophat..."

"What is it this time?"

"Y..Ya got anything ta eat?"

"Do I have anything ta...how's about a knuckle sandwich?"

"Does it have mayonnaise? Cause I hate mayonnaise..."

...........

There were once two dudes
They were sittin' just out of clear view ala Blue's Clues
Ooh
Dusty dirty gritty bad news
flickin' matches from a telephone booth
Who?
Gumshoes, bloodshot eyes hidden by
a pair of cigar plumes
You
Better hope you never ever come to know these sons of bitches like I do

One short and simple minded haiku
words few
other blast through rather than ask to move
Somethin' to prove nothin' to lose
one underside city park bench
spearmint chew, ew
Bubble lead rolls heads all the way to Timbuktu
Leave 'em stuck like glue
other trash talk pew til the talk trash you

"That didn't even make any sense"

psshhh, how rude
Bad mood with a shitty attitude
glued to the boob tube
hand in the pants lewd lube
Channel 2 feud with the fate of the
free world in the hands of these rubes
we're so screwed

..........

"I was just sayin' I'm hungry! Could use a little recharge"

"Shut ya trap and chew ya gum,
we got capers"

..........

It's the Adventuuurrrres of Tooophat and Monocle!
The Adventuuurrrres of Tooophat and Monocle!

Saving the world one crime at a time
unless there's something better to do
Any of a myriad of things
A tasty snack
An amusing show of the tele
An old wooden fence to paint
Anything really, I don't fuckin' know

..........

Sirens blare over here over there
Who cares, anyone care? I don't care
Fair is fair in a city of unfair cab fare
dag where's a comfortable chair?
Kick back
Things fall to crap
Who laughs last?
The hearing impaired
Tophat lecherously lurking
JUMP! Two apathetic dicks in the air
Monocle manufactures manicured
knuckle drag Macintosh kick to the snare
Tits and a player trump chicks in despair
what a twisted affair this pair I swear

By the son and the moon in the stars
fellas rather leave Charles in charge
act like we've come so far
but the villains are the one's livin' large

........

"Is he talkin' about us? (who?)"

"Is he disparaging our names? (who are you talkin' about?")"

"I'm a Goddamn hero!"

You don't really do anything heroic

"(oh him) That's it! Knuckle up Monocle! (He seems like a nice guy)"

Look I'm just sayin' you don't really do anything...well, you kinda make things worse...

.........

It's the Adventuuurrrres of Tooophat and Monocle!
The Adventuuurrrres of Tooophat and Monocle!

Saving the world one crime at a time
unless there's something better to do
Any of a myriad of things
A tasty snack
An amusing show of the tele
An old wooden fence to paint
Anything really, I don't fuckin' know

credits

from Levitate This, released May 22, 2012

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